Summary
Summary of Loving Friendship
Loving Friendship at a glance
Summary: 8 min to read
- Reading time
- About 5 h 25 min4 h 15 min fast, 6 h 25 min slow
- Length
- 77,100 words
- Library level
- Medium longer sentences, everyday words
- First published
- 1896by Hermine Oudinot Lecomte du Noüy
Reading time at 238 words a minute (fast 300, slow 200). How long the classics take to read · Updated
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Key ideas
Key idea 1
Friendship begins with a warning
Philippe writes to Denise offering to bring her a little book of verse. Their meeting has left him feeling that they have been friends for years, and she welcomes his visit. But his next letter lets love enter the conversation before their friendship has found its footing.
Denise immediately warns him to be careful. She wants the friendship and believes it can be something lovely between a man and a woman. Their bond begins with an agreement whose danger they already recognize.
Key idea 2
Philippe makes idleness his creed
Philippe believes wisdom means letting events arrange themselves.
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Key idea 3
Denise trusts him with her past
Denise finally explains the marriage behind her separate life.
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Key idea 4
Love meets a clear refusal
At Nimerck, affection becomes harder for Philippe to contain.
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Key idea 5
Their reunion exposes unfinished business
When Philippe and Denise meet again, he asks to return as her friend and assures her that he is cured of love.
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Key idea 6
Daily closeness unsettles their agreement
Philippe begins visiting Denise every day.
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Key idea 7
Creating means risking personal exposure
Denise composes songs and other music, combining the heart's impulse with the work of the mind.
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Key idea 8
Their feelings no longer move together
Denise's letters begin to reveal pain that Philippe answers with explanations and practical advice.
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Key idea 9
Self-deception puts affection at risk
Philippe and Denise want a friendship so complete that it needs no other name.
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Who it’s for
Readers who enjoy letters between two witty people, quiet psychological drama, Paris salons of the 1890s, and the gap between what people feel and what they say will find a lively companion here.
What this book is
What happens when two people who like each other promise to stay only friends? One November in Paris, Philippe de Luzy writes a polite note to Denise Trémors, offering to bring her a little book of verse. From that note grows a correspondence of more than two hundred letters, and every letter is a move in a delicate game.
Loving Friendship came out in 1896. Hermine Oudinot Lecomte du Noüy wrote it wholly in letters between an idle man of fashion and a young mother who lives apart from her husband and composes songs. There is no narrator, so you learn everything from what the two choose to say. You get a clear look at what choosing friendship over love can cost.
In this summary
- 1Friendship begins with a warningFree
- 2Philippe makes idleness his creed
- 3Denise trusts him with her past
- 4Love meets a clear refusal
- 5Their reunion exposes unfinished business
- 6Daily closeness unsettles their agreement
- 7Creating means risking personal exposure
- 8Their feelings no longer move together
- 9Self-deception puts affection at risk
A polite note begins a dangerous friendship
The book opens with Philippe writing to Denise on a November day. He asks to call the next afternoon and bring the little volume of verse she wanted. He says he felt they had been friends for years, then adds that he distrusts such instincts.
Denise answers within hours and says yes. She calls the evening where they met tedious, yet says it became so little tedious thanks to him.
After the visit Philippe writes again, delighted that she consents to be simply a woman. In a postscript he wonders whether a hostess has guessed he loves her, though he has told no one.
Denise cries out at once, like an honest player, telling him to look out. Three words in his letter frighten her, yet she still wants the friendship, which she thinks is the loveliest thing a man and a woman can grow. A friendship that names its own danger at the start has already begun to meet it.
That’s 1 of 9 key points.
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Check yourself
Why does Denise question Philippe's defense of idleness?
Right. “She says he might have become a writer of rare quality, yet he shrinks from the energy it would take.”Not quite. “She says he might have become a writer of rare quality, yet he shrinks from the energy it would take.”
How does Denise respond to Philippe's declaration of love?
Right. “Denise replies plainly that she does not love him.”Not quite. “Denise replies plainly that she does not love him.”
What makes Philippe and Denise's later feelings painful?
Right. “He calls himself an aesthete, and says his own love had healed just as hers caught fire.”Not quite. “He calls himself an aesthete, and says his own love had healed just as hers caught fire.”
Go deeper: the whole of Loving Friendship
About 5 h 40 min to read.Start freePaperback, hardcover and large print, printed for you at cost, are on their way.Email me when it is printed
About this edition
Every format is free to start, and print and large print are at cost.
- LengthAbout 77,100 words
- Reading timeAbout 5 h 25 min
Questions about Loving Friendship
What is Loving Friendship about?
It is a novel told in letters between Philippe de Luzy and Denise Trémors, a man and a woman in 1890s Paris who try to keep a deep friendship free of love and watch it change over several years.
Who wrote Loving Friendship and when?
Hermine Oudinot Lecomte du Noüy wrote it. Her dedication to Laure de Maupassant bears the date October 1896, and the book is set among the salons, musicians and writers of her Paris.
Who is Hélène in Loving Friendship?
Hélène is Denise's young daughter, golden-haired and affectionate. Her small remarks about birds, pennies and dolls cut through the adults' poses, and her bond with Philippe matters more and more as the story goes on.
Is Loving Friendship a true story?
It is fiction, though presented as real letters between friends. Writers such as Maupassant and Massenet appear in the letters as acquaintances of the characters, which gives the book the feel of a true record.
Is Loving Friendship easy to follow?
Its letters are short, dated and lively, each in a clear voice, and many are only a page. Jokes, anecdotes, music and descriptions of Brittany keep the pace pleasant from one letter to the next.
Cite this edition
Lecomte du Noüy, Hermine Oudinot. Loving Friendship. Library of Alexandria, 2026, libraryofalexandria.com/products/loving-friendship.
Lecomte du Noüy, H. O. (2026). Loving friendship. Library of Alexandria. https://libraryofalexandria.com/products/loving-friendship (Original work published 1896)
Lecomte du Noüy, Hermine Oudinot. Loving Friendship. Library of Alexandria, 2026. https://libraryofalexandria.com/products/loving-friendship.
@book{lecomtedunouy2026loving,
author = {Lecomte du Noüy, Hermine Oudinot},
title = {Loving Friendship},
publisher = {Library of Alexandria},
year = {2026},
url = {https://libraryofalexandria.com/products/loving-friendship},
note = {First published 1896}
}
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