Antony and Cleopatra, Act 1, Scene 2

Charmian

Lord Alexas, sweet Alexas, most anything Alexas, almost most absolute Alexas, where’s the soothsayer that you praised so to th’ queen? O, that I knew this husband which you say must charge his horns with garlands!

Lord Alexas, sweet Alexas, most everything Alexas, almost absolutely perfect Alexas, where’s the fortune-teller you praised so highly to the queen? Oh, I wish I knew this husband you say I’ll have—the one whose horns I’ll decorate with flowers by cheating on him!

Alexas

Soothsayer!

Fortune-teller!

Soothsayer

Your will?

What would you like?

Charmian

Is this the man? Is’t you, sir, that know things?

Is this the man? Are you the one, sir, who knows things?

Soothsayer

In nature’s infinite book of secrecyA little I can read.

I can read a little in nature’s endless book of secrets.

Alexas

Show him your hand.

Show him your hand.

Enobarbus

Bring in the banquet quickly; wine enoughCleopatra’s health to drink.

Bring the feast in quickly, and enough wine to drink to Cleopatra’s health.

Charmian

Good, sir, give me good fortune.

Please, good sir, give me good fortune.

Soothsayer

I make not, but foresee.

I don’t create it. I only predict it.

Charmian

Pray, then, foresee me one.

Then please predict a good one for me.

Soothsayer

You shall be yet far fairer than you are.

You’ll become much fairer than you are now.

Charmian

He means in flesh.

He means I’ll put on flesh.

Iras

No, you shall paint when you are old.

No, you’ll use makeup when you’re old.

Charmian

Wrinkles forbid!

May wrinkles never let that happen!

Alexas

Vex not his prescience. Be attentive.

Don’t interfere with his predictions. Pay attention.

Charmian

Hush!

Hush!

Soothsayer

You shall be more beloving than beloved.

You’ll give more love than you receive.

Charmian

I had rather heat my liver with drinking.

I’d rather heat up my liver with drinking.

Alexas

Nay, hear him.

No, listen to him.

Charmian

Good now, some excellent fortune! Let me be married to three kings in a forenoon and widow them all. Let me have a child at fifty, to whom Herod of Jewry may do homage. Find me to marry me with Octavius Caesar, and companion me with my mistress.

Come on, give me some wonderful fortune! Let me marry three kings in one morning and outlive them all. Let me have a child at fifty, whom Herod of Judea will bow down to. Find a way for me to marry Octavius Caesar and make me my mistress’s equal.

Soothsayer

You shall outlive the lady whom you serve.

You’ll outlive the lady you serve.

Charmian

O, excellent! I love long life better than figs.

Oh, wonderful! I love a long life better than figs.

Soothsayer

You have seen and proved a fairer former fortuneThan that which is to approach.

You have already seen and enjoyed better fortune than what lies ahead.

Charmian

Then belike my children shall have no names. Prithee, how many boys and wenches must I have?

Then I suppose my children will have no fathers to give them names. Please, how many boys and girls will I have?

Soothsayer

If every of your wishes had a womb,And fertile every wish, a million.

If every one of your wishes had a womb, and every wish could bear children, a million.

Charmian

Out, fool! I forgive thee for a witch.

Get out, fool! I forgive you for being a witch.

Alexas

You think none but your sheets are privy to your wishes.

You think only your bedsheets know your wishes.

Charmian

Nay, come, tell Iras hers.

No, come on, tell Iras her fortune.

Alexas

We’ll know all our fortunes.

We’ll all find out our fortunes.

Enobarbus

Mine, and most of our fortunes tonight, shall be drunk to bed.

My fortune tonight, and most of ours, will be to go to bed drunk.

Iras

There’s a palm presages chastity, if nothing else.

Here’s a palm that predicts chastity, if nothing else.

Charmian

E’en as the o’erflowing Nilus presageth famine.

Just as the overflowing Nilus predicts famine.

Iras

Go, you wild bedfellow, you cannot soothsay.

Go on, you wild thing in bed! You can’t tell fortunes.

Charmian

Nay, if an oily palm be not a fruitful prognostication, I cannot scratch mine ear. Prithee, tell her but workaday fortune.

Well, if a sweaty palm doesn’t predict fertility, I can’t scratch my own ear. Please, just tell her an ordinary fortune.

Soothsayer

Your fortunes are alike.

Your fortunes are the same.

Iras

But how, but how? give me particulars.

But how, how? Give me the details.

Soothsayer

I have said.

I’ve said all I have to say.

Iras

Am I not an inch of fortune better than she?

Isn’t my fortune even an inch better than hers?

Charmian

Well, if you were but an inch of fortune better than I, where would you choose it?

Well, if your fortune were just an inch better than mine, where would you want that inch?

Iras

Not in my husband’s nose.

Not on my husband’s nose.

Charmian

Our worser thoughts heavens mend! Alexas—come, his fortune! his fortune! O, let him marry a woman that cannot go, sweet Isis, I beseech thee, and let her die too, and give him a worse, and let worse follow worse, till the worst of all follow him laughing to his grave, fiftyfold a cuckold! Good Isis, hear me this prayer, though thou deny me a matter of more weight; good Isis, I beseech thee!

May heaven improve our dirty thoughts! Alexas—come on, his fortune! His fortune! Oh, sweet Isis, I beg you, let him marry a woman who cannot walk, and let her die too, and give him a worse one. Let each wife be worse than the last, until the worst of all follows him laughing to his grave, after cheating on him fifty times over! Good Isis, grant me this prayer, even if you refuse me something more important. Good Isis, I beg you!

Iras

Amen. Dear goddess, hear that prayer of the people! For, as it is a heartbreaking to see a handsome man loose-wived, so it is a deadly sorrow to behold a foul knave uncuckolded. Therefore, dear Isis, keep decorum and fortune him accordingly!

Amen. Dear goddess, hear this prayer from your people! For just as it breaks your heart to see a handsome man with an unfaithful wife, it is a terrible sorrow to see an ugly scoundrel whose wife hasn’t cheated on him. So, dear Isis, keep things fitting and give him the fortune he deserves!

Charmian

Amen.

Amen.

Alexas

Lo now, if it lay in their hands to make me a cuckold, they would make themselves whores but they’d do’t!

Look at that! If they had the power to make my wife cheat on me, they’d become whores themselves to make sure it happened!

Enobarbus

Hush, Here comes Antony.

Quiet, here comes Antony.

Charmian

Not he, the queen.

Not him, the queen.

Cleopatra

Saw you my lord?

Have you seen my lord?

Enobarbus

No, lady.

No, my lady.

Cleopatra

Was he not here?

Wasn’t he here?

Charmian

No, madam.

No, madam.

Cleopatra

He was disposed to mirth; but on the suddenA Roman thought hath struck him. Enobarbus!

He was in a cheerful mood, but suddenly a thought of Rome struck him. Enobarbus!

Enobarbus

Madam?

Madam?

Cleopatra

Seek him and bring him hither. Where’s Alexas?

Find him and bring him here. Where’s Alexas?

Alexas

Here, at your service. My lord approaches.

Here, at your service. My lord is coming.

Cleopatra

We will not look upon him. Go with us.

We will not see him. Come with us.

Messenger

Fulvia thy wife first came into the field.

Your wife Fulvia was the first to take up arms.

Antony

Against my brother Lucius.

Against my brother Lucius.

Messenger

Ay.But soon that war had end, and the time’s stateMade friends of them, jointing their force ’gainst Caesar,Whose better issue in the war from ItalyUpon the first encounter drave them.

Yes. But that war soon ended, and the political situation made them allies. They joined forces against Caesar, whose success in battle drove them out of Italy at their first encounter.

Antony

Well, what worst?

Well, what’s the worst news?

Messenger

The nature of bad news infects the teller.

Bad news tends to bring trouble on whoever tells it.

Antony

When it concerns the fool or coward. On.Things that are past are done with me. ’Tis thus:Who tells me true, though in his tale lie death,I hear him as he flattered.

When it’s told to a fool or a coward. Go on. What’s past is over as far as I’m concerned. Here’s how it is: if someone tells me the truth, even if his news means death, I listen as though he were flattering me.

Messenger

Labienus—This is stiff news—hath with his Parthian forceExtended Asia from EuphratesHis conquering banner shook from SyriaTo Lydia and to Ionia,Whilst—

Labienus—this is hard news—has overrun Asia with his Parthian army, advancing from the Euphrates. His victorious banner has flown from Syria to Lydia and Ionia, while—

Antony

“Antony”, thou wouldst say—

“Antony,” you were going to say—

Messenger

O, my lord!

Oh, my lord!

Antony

Speak to me home; mince not the general tongue.Name Cleopatra as she is called in Rome;Rail thou in Fulvia’s phrase, and taunt my faultsWith such full licence as both truth and maliceHave power to utter. O, then we bring forth weedsWhen our quick minds lie still, and our ills told usIs as our earing. Fare thee well awhile.

Speak plainly to me. Don’t soften what people are saying. Call Cleopatra what they call her in Rome. Attack me in Fulvia’s words, and mock my faults as freely as truth and malice allow. Oh, we grow weeds when our active minds sit idle, and being told our faults is like plowing the soil. Goodbye for now.

Messenger

At your noble pleasure.

As you wish, my noble lord.

Antony

From Sicyon, ho, the news? Speak there!

You there, what’s the news from Sicyon? Speak up!

Second Messenger

The man from Sicyon—

The man from Sicyon—

Antony

Is there such a one?

Is there someone from there?

Second Messenger

He stays upon your will.

He is waiting for your orders.

Antony

Let him appear.

Bring him in.

Third Messenger

Fulvia thy wife is dead.

Your wife Fulvia is dead.

Antony

Where died she?

Where did she die?

Third Messenger

In Sicyon:Her length of sickness, with what else more seriousImporteth thee to know, this bears.

In Sicyon. This letter tells you how long she was ill, along with other, more serious matters you need to know.

Antony

Forbear me.

Leave me alone.

Enobarbus

What’s your pleasure, sir?

What do you want, sir?

Antony

I must with haste from hence.

I must leave here at once.

Enobarbus

Why then we kill all our women. We see how mortal an unkindness is to them. If they suffer our departure, death’s the word.

Well, then we'll kill all our women. We know how deadly an unkind act can be to them. If they have to suffer our departure, death is the only outcome.

Antony

I must be gone.

I must go.

Enobarbus

Under a compelling occasion, let women die. It were pity to cast them away for nothing, though, between them and a great cause they should be esteemed nothing. Cleopatra, catching but the least noise of this, dies instantly. I have seen her die twenty times upon far poorer moment. I do think there is mettle in death which commits some loving act upon her, she hath such a celerity in dying.

If the reason is urgent, let the women die. It would be a shame to throw their lives away for nothing, though compared with a great cause, they should count for nothing. If Cleopatra hears even a whisper of this, she'll die instantly. I've seen her die twenty times over much less. I really think Death has some sexual vigor and makes love to her, she is so quick to die.

Antony

She is cunning past man’s thought.

She is more calculating than anyone can imagine.

Enobarbus

Alack, sir, no; her passions are made of nothing but the finest part of pure love. We cannot call her winds and waters sighs and tears; they are greater storms and tempests than almanacs can report. This cannot be cunning in her; if it be, she makes a shower of rain as well as Jove.

Oh no, sir. Her feelings are made of nothing but the finest essence of pure love. We can't call her gusts and floods mere sighs and tears. They are greater storms and tempests than any weather forecast can predict. This can't be trickery. If it is, she can make rain as well as Jove.

Antony

Would I had never seen her!

I wish I had never seen her!

Enobarbus

O, sir, you had then left unseen a wonderful piece of work, which not to have been blest withal would have discredited your travel.

Oh, sir, then you would have missed a wonderful work of art. Not to have been blessed with that sight would have made your travels a disgrace.

Antony

Fulvia is dead.

Fulvia is dead.

Enobarbus

Sir?

Sir?

Antony

Fulvia is dead.

Fulvia is dead.

Enobarbus

Fulvia?

Fulvia?

Antony

Dead.

Dead.

Enobarbus

Why, sir, give the gods a thankful sacrifice. When it pleaseth their deities to take the wife of a man from him, it shows to man the tailors of the earth; comforting therein that when old robes are worn out, there are members to make new. If there were no more women but Fulvia, then had you indeed a cut, and the case to be lamented. This grief is crowned with consolation; your old smock brings forth a new petticoat: and indeed the tears live in an onion that should water this sorrow.

Well, sir, offer the gods a sacrifice of thanks. When the gods choose to take a man's wife from him, they remind him of the world's tailors. There is comfort in knowing that when old clothes wear out, there are people equipped to make new ones. If Fulvia were the only woman in the world, then you really would have suffered a wound worth mourning. But this grief comes with plenty of consolation: your old dress gives way to a new skirt. Really, you'll need an onion to produce any tears for this sorrow.

Antony

The business she hath broached in the stateCannot endure my absence.

The political trouble she has started requires my presence.

Enobarbus

And the business you have broached here cannot be without you, especially that of Cleopatra’s, which wholly depends on your abode.

And the business you've started here can't go on without you either, especially Cleopatra's, which depends entirely on your staying.

Antony

No more light answers. Let our officersHave notice what we purpose. I shall breakThe cause of our expedience to the Queen,And get her leave to part. For not aloneThe death of Fulvia, with more urgent touches,Do strongly speak to us, but the letters tooOf many our contriving friends in RomePetition us at home. Sextus PompeiusHath given the dare to Caesar, and commandsThe empire of the sea. Our slippery people,Whose love is never linked to the deserverTill his deserts are past, begin to throwPompey the Great and all his dignitiesUpon his son, who, high in name and power,Higher than both in blood and life, stands upFor the main soldier; whose quality, going on,The sides o’ th’ world may danger. Much is breedingWhich, like the courser’s hair, hath yet but lifeAnd not a serpent’s poison. Say our pleasureTo such whose place is under us, requiresOur quick remove from hence.

No more flippant answers. Tell our officers what we intend to do. I'll explain to the Queen why we must leave quickly and get her permission to go. Fulvia's death and its more pressing consequences aren't the only things urgently calling us away. Letters from many of our friends working for us in Rome also ask us to come home. Sextus Pompeius has challenged Caesar and rules the seas. Our fickle people, who never love a deserving man until his achievements are behind him, are beginning to heap Pompey the Great's reputation and all his honors on his son. With his great name and power, and still greater courage and energy, he is emerging as the foremost soldier. If his strength keeps growing, he could threaten the whole world. Much is developing that, like a horsehair turning into a snake, has only life so far, but not a serpent's poison. Tell those under our command that we want to leave here immediately.

Enobarbus

I shall do’t.

I'll do it.