9 h 44 minAudiobook8 minSummaryRead it, hear it, the 15-minute summary, and print and large print at cost
Audiobook edition · 9 h 44 minPaperback · 6 × 9 in · printing soonHardcover · 6 × 9 in · printing soonAbout this book
What if good manners begin not with knowing every rule, but with noticing another person's comfort?
In The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness, Florence Hartley guides readers through the daily demands of Victorian social life. Conversation, dress, visits, introductions and invitations all receive close attention. Written for American middle-class women, this handbook makes the rules of company plain—and shows how much weight society places on getting them right.
Behind the instructions sits a warmer idea: true politeness grows from kindness, not display. Hartley explains how to listen, choose suitable clothes, behave at dinner and write a thoughtful letter. Others offer useful reminders about tact and consideration, giving you both a view of Victorian judgments and advice worth weighing for yourself.
What you’ll discover
- Kindness before social display Explore Hartley's belief that good manners begin with care for the people around you.
- The art of listening Find guidance on clear speech, a quiet tone and the value of listening well.
- Dress without the contest See why Hartley puts suitability to your means and place ahead of outward show.
- Calls and table manners Step into a social world where visits, introductions and dining each have their rules.
- Letters that consider others Discover advice on clear handwriting, forms of address and choosing a tone that fits.
Who will love it
This book is for readers who enjoy social history, Victorian daily life, and the small customs of calls, balls, and letters, and for anyone curious how one writer taught kindness and tact.
What’s inside
The key ideas, in the 15-minute summary
- Real politeness begins in a kind heart
- Good conversation means listening more than speaking
- Dress quietly, neatly, and to suit the occasion
- Travelers earn respect by plain dress and calm manners
- A good hostess forgets herself and serves her guests
- Guests owe promptness, gratitude, and quiet manners
- House visits work when both sides think of the other
- Calls and letters keep friendships alive with small courtesies
- Table, street, church, and theater share one rule of modesty
- Accomplishments, health, and household sense complete the lady
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Il libro di galateo delle signore e manuale di buone maniere
by Florence Hartley · 1860
Florence Hartley teaches a Victorian lady how to enter a drawing room, pour tea, and write a kind letter.
Medium level5–10 hours to readItaliano
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In short
What does it take to enter a crowded drawing room with grace, or write a letter that comforts a grieving friend? The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness answers it one small rule at a time.
From the 15-minute summary · Key idea 1
Real politeness begins in a kind heart
Hartley begins with the principle that people should treat others as they wish to be treated. Keep it in mind, she says, and you can never be truly rude. You may stumble over a custom, but you will not hurt anyone.
She knows the objection that manners are only a mask. Hartley answers that those who say so are avoiding the effort of being kind. Courtesy toward family is the real test, because anyone can be charming in public.
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You looked at
Which edition is right for me
- 15-minute summary
- The key ideas of the whole book in about 8 minutes. A good first look, or a refresher.
Details
- First published
- 1860
- Language
- Italiano
- Reading time
- 6 h 20 min
- Level
- Medium level
Cite this edition
Hartley, Florence. The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness. Library of Alexandria, 2026, libraryofalexandria.com/products/the-ladies-book-of-etiquette-and-manual-of-politeness.
Hartley, F. (2026). The ladies' book of etiquette, and manual of politeness. Library of Alexandria. https://libraryofalexandria.com/products/the-ladies-book-of-etiquette-and-manual-of-politeness (Original work published 1860)
Hartley, Florence. The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness. Library of Alexandria, 2026. https://libraryofalexandria.com/products/the-ladies-book-of-etiquette-and-manual-of-politeness.
@book{hartley2026ladies,
author = {Hartley, Florence},
title = {The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness},
publisher = {Library of Alexandria},
year = {2026},
url = {https://libraryofalexandria.com/products/the-ladies-book-of-etiquette-and-manual-of-politeness},
note = {First published 1860}
}
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What is The Ladies' Book of Etiquette about?
It is a Victorian guide to polite conduct for women. It covers conversation, dress, travel, parties, visits, calls, letters, church, balls, accomplishments, health, and household sense, all resting on the idea that manners come from a kind heart.
Who wrote The Ladies' Book of Etiquette and when?
Florence Hartley, an American author, wrote it in the nineteenth century for American women. The sample letters carry dates from the 1850s, and the customs of calling cards, steamboats, and balls point to that period.
What is the main message of Hartley's manual?
Her main message is that true politeness is unselfish kindness put into practice. Rules of etiquette matter, but she says they are empty unless they come from real regard for other people's feelings.
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